Friday, 29 January 2016

Subway and the Pool

The dreaded day of PE day has come. Like I said before, I have swimming classes (PE) from 1PM to 3PM under the scorching sun. Anyway, for every day, from Monday to Saturday (sometimes even Sunday) I have classes from 7AM to 11AM. So, I have a two hour break before PE on Wednesday and that's the fun part. We have two hours to spare, to fight over where to eat, actually eat, and change into our uniforms.

So for our first class in Swimming, we decided to eat at Subway because believe it or not, I haven't eaten there. Or maybe I did, or maybe I'm talking about Taco Bell.

In Subway, we spent a good thirty minutes contemplating on what to get seeing as the cheapest price that we could see was 99Php ($2.99-AUD) but the only menu appealing to our eyes were the ones in 150Php ($4.50-AUD) section. I ended up getting BLT (Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato) without the Tomato in a wheat bun with ranch dressing. I love ranch as much as the next person and I don't really like Chipotle sauce all that much. And we didn't get drinks there too because it was a tad bit pricy for a poor college student trying to live by the end of the week.

Moving to the actual PE, we had our class here. I think this is the only pool our school has... not entirely sure.

I have to say, I judged the subject too quickly, it wasn't as hot as I thought it was and my skin didn't burn off. The water was actually quite cold and it was fun seeing some of my friends floating of when we were ask to touch the floor.

Even though I was wearing a swimming cap, my hair ended up a bit wet and it was quite annoying seeing as to I didn't bring my shampoo and conditioner so I ended up taking a proper shower at home.

And lastly, I just have to say this, I love Aveeno for not letting me burn into a crispy human toast.

Monday, 25 January 2016

#2. Beyond the Galaxy

| monday musing |

Maybe I trusted him too much.
Maybe I asked for the wrong thing.
Maybe I expected the unexpected to not see the expected.
I just stood there, by the window, looking at the hand he held that night when he promised to not make me lose myself. That night, a million miles beneath the stars, his eyes shined so bright, as if they were stars themselves. Under the cold wind his hand, his smile remained so warm. It felt like home.
He was the light I've been searching for, in the darkness I live in. He was like the moon and I was the star that shines as long as he was there. He made me feel special, as if I was Sirius, and I was standing above the rest. It made me feel like as if I found myself.
Remembering the sun still shining, I felt hopeless, because I felt so sure. I was wrong.
In the midst of it all, the storm came, stars exploded around me, and others shined until they could shine no more. The calm before the storm if you'd say was the moment I found myself. Because then, he lost me. He found someone who everybody saw, someone who brought light and life to everything. He was the moon, and he found his sun.
Slowly everything crumbled down. It didn't matter if I was the brightest star out there, he didn't see me, instead, he lost me.
After all the promises and memories we had, you lost me.

Sorry for the low quality photos, I got them off my backup for my old blog since I thought that it was most applicable for this musing.

Have you written anything lately?

Sunday, 24 January 2016

One Week Down, and I'm Tired

Warning: Long Post Ahead (filled with random photos of the first week and meetings)

P.S. This was supposed to go up on Saturday but for odd reasons, it didn't the internet and blogspot was acting up and I had to post it today, if it went as scheduled or Monday.

I officially returned to college this week! To be honest I'm in no way ready to go back to my classes yet, mainly because my classes starts at 7am and I live an hour away from campus.
Anyway, I, again, have a full load for this semester I'm taking 26 (not sure) units. Everything's great and all, aside from my PE. Yes, I'm in college and I have PE. I have swimming as my PE for the next four months, in the middle of summer and underneath the scorching sun. Some people might think that 'you're so lucky to have swimming as your PE'. Don't get me wrong, I love having a good swim. What I don't like is the fact that I'll get all crispy and fried by the end of the semester. I'm not like the other fortunate people out there who gets than then their skin gets dry and like snakes, when they peal it off, they're Snow White again. For me, I take a year or more to get my colour back and it's hard when I just bought a new foundation that matches my current skin tone.

But let's forget about that little rant. I'm sorry.

Raven, me Haya
Thompson, Jaya, Raven and Meeeee

One of the first great things about returning to college was seeing your friends after a month of... well... disconnection. I say disconnection since whenever I go on holiday or go home, I tend to disconnect to anything related to college (except for assignments, I need to pass) but these times I keep for thinking, for creating, a time for me. So yeah.
Well, during the first two days, we managed to meet only three professors out of eight. Which was amazing since we have free time and also annoyingly tiring since most of us woke up at 5AM just to get to campus just to end up not seeing any professor going around. Just think of the time that could've been used for sleeping or watching a drama or reading a book. Oh the time!


Well, another good thing about returning to college was the food and the challenge of trying to save up money while finding good food. During the first day we opted to eat at Family Mart since all the other places were already packed. Jaya (Hah-yah) and I love the chicken there it's just not the ordinary friend chicken, it's like a roasted fried chicken in a way. So yeah.
For the Katsudon, I eat with my sister for dinner since I go straight to her office after my classes because it's nearer and going there's just much more efficient.

One of the last things that's just going back to uni was these opportunities for great photos! Personally, I think that my campus just gives off a lot of great photos since it's both old and modern at the same time - tech-driven yet nature loving.

Okay, just a bit more information and story for the week, since I just feel like sharing it.

I have eight classes, plus my PE, and my piano lessons. I'm currently taking Philippine History, General Psychology, Statistics, Asian Government and Politics (major subj. + really cute professor), Biology, Oral Communications, Filipino and Sociology/Theology. I have to say that after a week, I've already set out my favourite subjects which are my Psychology, Biology, Statistics, Asian Govt, and a so-so on Oral Com.. Too bad I didn't have any Art classes since it'd be amazing if I would have them, but I don't and won't.

But yeah, so far, that's all that's been happening with me. More college updates in the future!
By the way, if you're in college, what're you taking? What's your favourite subject?
AAAAANDDDDD, did you find the hidden Mickey?

Monday, 18 January 2016

#1. Florilegio

| monday musing |

For such a long time, writing has become something as important as breathing for me. So suffering from writer's block for almost two maybe three years crushed me. So lost, so empty. As far as writing goes, I consider myself as a nightmare writer. I write better when I'm hurt, I write better when it's produced by pain, misfortune, and things gathered in between.
Monday Musing, well, is something like a weekly tradition that'll force me to write anything. Anything at all. A prose, an excerpt of a novel I'm currently writing, a poem, or just a simple thing. This will hopefully help my brain juices running. And for the first week, this is Florilegio. Initially, some of the first things I'm gonna post here will be a collection that I've posted in wattpad. Bit weird to be posting it again, but it'll do. Some might also be my old projects for school.

“Thoughts under construction, voices, cause of action.” That’s how I always explained that book to you wasn’t it?
I remember how every morning I’d catch you reading my so called nightmares in that book – sitting on the floor with your favourite coffee mug at one hand and the book at the other – this time of the day was, still is, my favourite. It was the only time we’d see each other bear naked. No secrets, no hunting pasts, just the present. And that’s what I love about you. You never cared of what happened, you never judged me for my past, and you judge me for who I am now. You never pressured me to find out why, you just waited for me to come... home.
I can still feel how every morning after you read you’d pick me up and put me on your lap to hold me, enveloping me in your warmth.
You always say that you couldn’t write like how I do, and what I wrote was beautiful. I don’t believe that, nightmares are never beautiful. They’re chaotic and wrecked, like me.
“Splendida florilegio.” You told me one morning while hugging me. “Mi dispiace.”
I never really understood what you said then, I wanted to ask so I waited. I sat down on the floor holding your favourite mug until I lost track of time. But then I opened my eyes, you never came back.
I tried to understand, until now I still try to understand.
Maybe someday, you’d read my nightmares. Maybe someday you’d come back and hold me again.

What have you written lately?

Friday, 8 January 2016

The Booklist 2016

For the past few years I've been stuck in a wonderland called Wattpad. How I got there was because of my dreams of writing a story in my journey looking for a light in a dark place. But here's the thing, my flair in writing came from that dark place so, when I decided to move on with life, I left writing alone. Now, I'm a full time reader of unpublished, cliche (sometimes not) stories. Reading from the moment I open my eyes until as late as the sun begins to rise.
I actually got the idea of this list when I read Beth's Bookish Bucketlist 2016 and thought, why not? Why not challenge myself into reading books again, reading classics even!
I somehow went overboard with the list seeing as there's a lot of books I left hanging from way back. Some of them I included in the list, some I didn't.

1. A Brief History of Time - Stephen Hawking

2. In Search of Lost Time - Marcel Proust

3. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

4. Through the Looking Glass - Lewis Carroll

5. The Spellbinder's Gift - Og Mandino

6. The Opposite of Loneliness

7. Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro

8. Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard

9. The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera

10. The Wind-up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami

We were actually asked to read A Brief History of Time last semester by our science professor but I was somehow the only one who went out of my way to find a copy. I haven't fully started on it but, it should be good.
Never really liked Alice in Wonderland, I found it uninteresting. That opinion changed when I watched the 2010 movie. Truth to be told, Johnny Depp lured me in. After that, everything somehow fell in place, it became one of my favourite movies of all time and the quotes from the book were just really really nice.
Og Mandino's The Twelfth Angel was the first book that I've ever read as a book report during my 6th grade and that book changed my life. It inspired and moved me in so many ways! It was the book that inspired me to write, to (in some way) appreciate life. The Spellbinder's Gift was one of the books my teacher was contemplating on, so now, I decide to read it.
The Opposite of Loneliness... Went out of my comfort zone for this but the numerous reviews in Goodreads made me want to read the book. Some say its not so great, some loved it.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being was recommended to me by my old speech professor because she thought that I would love the book, she even showed me her favourite lines. At the same time I was also intrigued when she told me how much of a hopeless romantic the protagonist was, so I'm looking forward to that.

11. Mistborn: The Last Empire - Brandon Sanderson
12. NIMONA - Noelle Steveson
13. This One Summer - Mariko Tamaki
14. The Girl on The Train - Paula Hawkins
15. The Girl with The Wrong Name - Barnabas Miller
16. The Shadow of The Night - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
17. The Things they Carried - Tim O'Brien
18. The Colour Purple - Alice Walker
19. To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee
20. Tender is the Night - F. Scott Fitzgerald

For the second selection, I kinda looked into graphic novels and more classics since I really do want to like classics, its just that my brain doesn't want to.
For the first three graphic novels, I kinda went into what was recommended to me and also how the artwork looks like. I've been reading manga for years already and when I read manga, I get really choosy with the artwork. Actually, in manga, sometimes artwork goes over plot for me.
I've gotten really curious of Alice Walker's works after reading M'Lissa, an excerpt of Possessing the Secret of Joy. Then one of my friends told me to read this book because she loved it.

So, what's on your 2016 Booklist?

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

The Becoming Better List

The Becoming Letter List. It's kinda like my New Year's Resolution, but the thing is, I don't do New Year's Resolutions because I don't really follow them... sooo, let's just say that this is an upgraded New Year's Resolution. It's not really a new years resolution since I've been trying to do these things since November-ish? Well, it's complicated, but this is very similar to a New Year's Resolution, but then again its not. (confused yet?)


I have to say how much I suck at drinking water just because I prefer drinking tea, juice, and occasionally, sodas, instead. I know how water is good for the body, like it enhances one's complexion and all that jazz. Also, my doctor said that it's the only cure for my minor heart problem. To be honest, he told me that I'm not allowed to have coffee or tea, but it was like he asked me to leave my children in front of a cat carrying a chainsaw, so I do still drink coffee. I just try not to overdose on it anymore. Back again on more water, lately, I've been trying to drink one litre or more a day, I also try to bring a small bottle of water with me in my room whenever I get the chance to remember to. So that's a start! 


I don't just suck on blogging and drinking water, I also try to kill myself early by not eating healthy. Guess what was the result? High Cholesterol. Yup, I'm a seventeen year old college student with high cholesterol, (two years running with it). And the downside, I have to avoid bacon, spam and eggs! I mean yeah, I can avoid hotdog, but those three I mentioned are my staple foods, it's the only thing I could cook whenever I'm too hungry to try to cook something decent. Just imagine the agony of trying to avoid these things for two years (which I fail miserably at).
By eating healthier, I plan to eat more vegetables and fruits. So far, the number of vegetables I eat could be counted on maybe both hands and one foot. So now, I plan to somehow grow that number and eat more greens. As for fruits, I have no problem with fruits, I eat lots of them, though, I only eat them when I "feel" like eating them. I drink fruit shakes though, plus the milk and sugar and stuff.

3. Blog and Vlog genuinely 

I written it down countless times why I stopped blogging and all that stuff so, I'll make this short. I want my blog to be a reflection of my weird and uneventful and chaotic life and I want my vlogging channel to be the visual documentation of it. Capisce? 

4. Meet New People

For the past few years, I've closed myself to a certain number of people and didn't really welcome newcomers into my life. And it's a bit lonely when your friends who attend a different college seem like a stranger after a few months. Looking back to this year, I have to say that I've made a lot of bad decisions regarding almost everything, but at the same time, a lot of memorable and amazing moments went with it and its all because of my best friends who stuck with me from the very start.

5. Be More Positive

This year, I decided to embrace the positive side of my life. For years I've been a hundred and twenty percent of pessimist, and it didn't turn out well. I was living a miserable life, being insecure of all things and later on dropping out of all the things I love. Aside from being positive, I also want to be continuously inspired on all the things I do. And lately, regarding all these things, I've been writing inspiring quotes on my drawing journal and sometimes on my walls. 

6. Wash My Face B4 Sleeping

I wear make-up almost everyday due to uni and some trips here and there and when I go home, I turn to facial wipes to remove my make-up whether its just concealer, powder, mascara and lip stain or a full face make-up. As this routine go on for months, I realized that I've been having a lot of breakouts whether it's on my forehead or my cheeks, my chin, my jaw, or my eyebrows. And as time goes by, it somehow got worse or it'll just disappear. For the first few months I tried to switch up my make-up products thinking that maybe I got a reaction from the make-up I'm using. But its not, it turns out that my face wasn't clean enough and that the remnants of the make-up I used stayed on my face and just ruined it all. So lately, I've been trying to take care of my skin more by washing my face before I go to sleep and also putting in some toner and moisturizer. 

7. Write More

Writing is my sanctuary. I just have to throw that one out there to make me remember. For me, writing will forever be my passion even if the flare is gone, it'll always be a part of me. Writing has always been a medium for me to express all these great feelings into words. And for some reason, I'm actually good (was good) at writing deep, dark, feelings. Weird and creepy? Yes it is. I want to go back to something I love and I guess, I can't really go back, until I start putting ink on that paper. 


I'm short and in every way out of shape. I used to be really flexible though (I did gymnastics and ballet) but then laziness came around, also my bed became more inviting rather than my treadmill and mat, and thus, I now have a horrible posture and a snapping body of a thousand year old! Its not all that bad! Unless hearing your back crack when you stretch is, well then, it is bad. But that is partly the reason why I want to stretch. I've gone tired of hearing the same cracking noise coming from my lower back and upper back whenever I stretch once and a while. I've also gotten tired of the fact that I can't reach certain things without pulling a muscle, high or low. And also, I've read about how stretching increases height. I'm seventeen (nearly eighteen) and I've still not lost hope on getting taller... as much as possible I don't want to stay at 5' foot tall for the rest of my life. 2 to 3 inches would do me well.

9. Clean my ROOM (MORE)

If there's something I suck at rather than anything else possible, it has to be cleaning my room. I tend to clean it by organizing my trash on top of other trash of the same category. This way of cleaning might've popped some of my mum's sanity out of her mind. My mum's a very clean person, she likes things clean and organized so just think how she must feel whenever she enters my room and she sees papers everywhere, laptops and cords scattered on one corner, dirty laundry on top of my little table and a bazillion dust bunnies hopping around. 
I guess that's enough explanation why I put this as a part of this list. 

10. SAY YES! 

A lot of opportunities passed my way since I was a child, and all those opportunities I threw away. I was either too shy or to scared to do it even though I would love to. Same goes for my family asking me if I want something, I'd just turn my head and say no, even though yes is my answer. This year I want to take on challenges and face my fears, I want to be involved and feel like I actually have a life doing exciting and extraordinary things! 

11.  SAY Thank you.

I don't think I say thank you enough, for all the blessings I have, I tend to turn to my burdens and count them one by one. So now, I just want to always remember to say thank you for everything, for another day, for my friends, my family, my chances to make choices and decisions. 

Saturday, 2 January 2016

Twenty Sixteen

“For everything in this journey of life we are on, there is a right wing and a left wing: for the wing of love there is anger; for the wing of destiny there is fear; for the wing of pain there is healing; for the wing of hurt there is forgiveness; for the wing of pride there is humility; for the wing of giving there is taking; for the wing of tears there is joy; for the wing of rejection there is acceptance; for the wing of judgment there is grace; for the wing of honor there is shame; for the wing of letting go there is the wing of keeping. We can only fly with two wings and two wings can only stay in the air if there is a balance. Two beautiful wings is perfection. There is a generation of people who idealize perfection as the existence of only one of these wings every time. But I see that a bird with one wing is imperfect. An angel with one wing is imperfect. A butterfly with one wing is dead. So this generation of people strive to always cut off the other wing in the hopes of embodying their ideal of perfection, and in doing so, have created a crippled race.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

Twenty Fifteen in one word was a journey. It was a journey towards becoming a greater person... in some way. 2015 for me was a journey of losing and finding myself. This year I managed to be someone who I don't really want to be but at the same time, have some time for the real me in front of my best friends and family. But on the latter part of the year, I decided to not care anymore about what people will think of me, because what they think doesn't really matter.

I spent the majority of this year as a struggling college sophomore, managing to (barely) pass two major subjects and six minor ones. As a student, I have to say that it wasn't my best year. I left things to the last minute, I skipped some classes (mostly because I was sick) and even disregard important papers. Not cool at all. Also this year, I managed to somehow save-up some money for myself, as I am trying to invest in a new camera for my blog. 

This year, I've also been given the chance to perform as a pianist for a major concert of our university. It was the first time for the extension program to be a part of a major concert as it it's kinda a big deal. I was so honoured be one of the students from the extension class chosen to be part of the concert. It was a big deal for me because I just started to learn piano earlier this year, and I don't think that I'm in that level that I should be performing in front of a crowd, especially when I messed up my first recital back then. But all I know is that this year was a chance for me to find something I love and actually commit and do it.

As I have said, this year was somehow a door for me to be part of a lot of things and one of those is an online magazine wherein I am part of the staff, I'm the web editor for the Charlie n Charlotte magazine which as launched last June 21st. The magazine is about letting the free spirit of the wonder youth roam and be, well, free. Its for the wanderlust and the lost. From this magazine, I met managed to be friends with one of my old schoolmates who I've been wanting to befriend for a very long time but don't really have the courage to. I actually conducted an interview with her that you can find HERE, which was entitled, "Yara Arini: Young Allegory".

So far, I'm proud of what happened in 2015, for having the courage to do some of the things I wanted to do, for going back to this online world, for being a part of a team, for finally finding the inner Chopin in me, for making a progress in the journey of finding myself.

Happy New Year everyone!